EVELYSS / Guides / Fashion Sense

What to Wear to Christmas Dinner With Your Boyfriend's Family (First Time or Fifth)

“Nobody's family remembers what the new partner wore unless it made them uncomfortable, or made you uncomfortable. Dress like someone who is ready to help clear the plates and still be in the photos, and you've won the day.”Her take

Ask your partner three questions first

Every family does Christmas differently, and your partner knows the unwritten rules. Ask before you pack, not on the drive over.

Then aim one small step smarter than what they describe. If they say jeans, wear your smartest dark jeans with a good knit. If they say everyone dresses up, wear a dress or smart trousers rather than going full party.

• How dressed-up do people get for lunch or dinner, honestly?
• Is it a shoes-off house?
• What else happens that day: church, a walk, games, photos, the pub?

Three outfits that work for most families

These sit in the sweet spot between effort and ease. Each one can be dressed up with jewellery or down with a cardigan.

• Relaxed family: dark straight-leg jeans, a soft knit in a rich colour such as forest green, navy or chocolate, small gold or silver earrings and smart socks or loafers.
• Middle ground: a knitted or jersey midi dress with opaque tights and ankle boots, plus a fine cardigan for the warm kitchen.
• Dressier family: wide-leg tailored trousers with a silky blouse or fine-knit top, or a velvet midi skirt with a jumper tucked in at the front.

What to avoid the first time you meet them at Christmas

Skip anything very short, very low-cut or very tight. Not because there is anything wrong with them, but because you will be sitting on low sofas, reaching across tables and playing games on the floor, and you don't want to spend the day adjusting.

Be careful with white and pale cream near gravy, cranberry sauce and red wine, and with dry-clean-only fabrics if you plan to help in the kitchen. Hold back on novelty jumpers unless your partner says the family all wear them, in which case join in happily.

Dress for a long day: table, sofa and walk

Christmas lunch can run from late morning to night. A waistband with some give, or a dress with no waistband at all, is your friend after the second helping. Avoid trousers that dig in when you sit.

Many British families go for a walk after lunch. Bring a warm coat, a scarf and a pair of boots or trainers you can wear on a muddy path, so you are not stuck choosing between your smart shoes and staying behind.

Shoes-off houses and staying over

If it is a shoes-off house, your socks are part of the outfit. Pack a pair of smart wool or cashmere-blend socks without holes, or a pair of simple slippers, and avoid tights with a reinforced toe that you would rather nobody saw.

If you are staying over, pack pyjamas you would be happy to be seen in at breakfast, a dressing gown, and a cosy but presentable outfit for Christmas morning presents, which often end up in photos.

Jewellery, make-up and hair

Keep it polished and quiet: small hoops or studs, one necklace, clean nails. A neat low bun or soft waves won't fall apart while you help in the kitchen.

A classic lip is lovely for Christmas, but choose a long-wearing formula so you are not leaving marks on every glass and cheek you kiss.

Questions people ask

The takeaway

Ask first, aim one notch smarter, wear something you can eat, sit and walk in, and pack good socks for a shoes-off house.

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